Real Women Love Martha
Martha Stewart will make sugar cookies and a huge pitcher of lemonade with lemons after taking off that ankle bracelet. I love the Fox News comment that we can’t keep track of sex offenders in Florida, but Martha has to wear an ankle bracelet and can’t garden or ride horses. All right, Martha, stay away from the tomatoes!
Your cattle may go through growth problems, but your Sirius radio show will attract an audience like bees to honey-glazed ham.
Let’s look beyond the “she said / she didn’t say” details.
Savemartha.com, Marthatalks.com and other websites indicate
that Mrs. Stewart is not the most hated woman in America. Even Jay Leno, previously bombarded by Savemartha.com for his taunting of Martha, made some humorous comments on her behalf. “Track her down? We can’t get rid of her! … Martha can’t ride a horse on her farm. What, are the police scared of a 60-year-old woman on horseback? They couldn’t.” OJ in the Ford Bronco! “
Meanwhile, feminists, who conveniently remained silent as an overwhelmingly male conspiracy debased a strong, independent, and successful woman, often mocked Martha for setting an impossible and unrealistic standard of perfection.
Do you want to talk unrealistic? The media portray the ideal
woman as a size 2 with breast implants. And the marketing machine
pretend Britney Spears can sing and Jessica Simpson actually
has something to say that is worth listening to.
But aren’t we supposed to be beyond traditional women?
Hey, didn’t feminists say that women nurture everything?
and any work that comes from Womyn’s hands is superior to
(cough) males of any breed but especially white males? It seems to me that ladies do
protest too much. Maybe feel uncomfortable with yours
household skills? Guilty by a standard themselves
repudiate? Afraid of her own feminine desires to make crepe.
paper decorations and make a cake?
Real women bake cakes. Or choose not to, that’s fine. True
women decorate for Christmas. Garden of royal women. Real women
They can be difficult to work with, just like real men. People
just notice it more when the refusal to commit comes from a
pair of size seven high heels. But hey, even Dennis Rodman and
RuPaul got away with it.
And speaking of athletes, real women know it’s not okay for
people who dribble a ball all day to get billions of dollars for
year while people like Martha who embodies the American Dream, who
give us products that really enrich our lives instead of hours
of mindless television and sports talk, receives a prison sentence.
The entire NBA has been in prison. I do not see anyone
threatening to stop buying Nike and Air Jordans.
Real women bake cookies. It’s a no-brainer: chocolate chips!
Like chocolate chip cookies! Which, by the way, the male of
the species is also known to eat. It is interesting for
note that half of the messages and letters on Savemartha.com are
of the men.
Real women bake. We know you’re out there. So show your support and shop for Martha, bake with Martha, and tune in to Martha Stewart Living Radio when it launches.