Things you will never hear a thin, elegant and intelligent woman say
I’ve spent years studying French women, as well as other naturally thin people, and there is a method to their “thinness,” but it’s probably not what you think. It does not imply diets and deprivation. It is an attitude, a personal style, a way of seeing the world, and it starts from within.
While diet programs and other approaches keep you focused on your “weight problem,” the French approach to living a lean lifestyle is probably contrary to what you’ve been taught.
From the countryside of Provence to the bistros of Paris, I have paid close attention to the attitudes and behaviors of slim, elegant and intelligent women. His approach to food, weight and life is very different from the “no pain, no gain” mentality of American culture. Instead, their mindset is based on pleasure and personal style, both of which are incredible weight loss tools.
I realized a long time ago that if I wanted to be a slim, stylish, smart woman, I had to move away from the diet industry and turn to a culture that lived a slim lifestyle long before our country existed. What I discovered is that there are certain things that I never hear a thin, elegant and intelligent woman say. In today’s article, I want to share a few with you so that you can begin to identify some of the blocks that may be preventing you from having the body and life of your dreams.
“I’m on a diet.”
Diets don’t work. Period. If they did, there wouldn’t be a billion-dollar-plus industry that would continue to thrive despite its enormous failure rate. What the hell? What other industry is successful with a failure rate of over ninety-five percent? Slim, stylish and smart women know that it’s not just another diet, but an attitude and mindset that keeps them slim.
Diets = misery. Who wants that? She is definitely not a woman who values pleasure, personal style and joie de vivre.
What do you do, then, when you want to lose a few kilos? Well, she has her secret strategies and techniques that guide her body back to her ideal weight without much drama.
“I just read a great article on emotional eating.”
You’ll find a slim, smart, smart woman reading a great article in Vogue, Bon Appetit, or perhaps The New Yorker, but you won’t find her wasting her time reading about how she has a big problem she needs to fix.
Every time you read a diet book or an article on how to overcome emotional eating, you are confirming your belief that you have a problem.
Here’s the problem: focus on the problem. What you focus on grows, so learning to shift your attention to what you want is magical and very slimming. When you start following pleasure, you’ll put down the diet books and pick up the stuff you’ve wanted to read for years or take a class you’ve been putting off until you lose weight.
You will begin to live your life now as you would then, reading things that inspire you, not that convince you that you are broken, because you are not!
The result: weight loss.
I will be honest. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t occasionally think they suck. I certainly do. However, a slim, elegant and intelligent woman does not wallow in her self-deprecating thoughts and certainly does not say it out loud. She doesn’t feed him by focusing on him, finding evidence of it, and living his life from a “I suck” place.
Instead, she realizes that she is not her thoughts, that she has an amazing life to create, and immediately focuses her attention on the most beautiful and inspiring things. Sure, she does stupid things just like anyone else, and yes, she probably has some cellulite or other lumps, bumps, and weirdness, but she sees this as a natural part of being a woman, not evidence that she’s not worth it.
She embraces her strengths and weaknesses, and that alone makes her irresistible to those who are honored to be in her presence.
“I lost control.”
Even if she’s waist-deep in the refrigerator, a slim, elegant, smart woman will never say she’s out of control, because she realizes that every action she takes is completely her own. You cannot experience being in control if you are constantly walking around thinking you are out of control. So if this is what you believe, I challenge you to start saying before every action you take, “I am choosing to do this.”
By repeating this to yourself, you will begin to manage your mind, and a woman who is the CEO of her mind is unstoppable.
“My weight is ______.”
She’ll tell you what she cooked last night, where she went on vacation, and the designer of her dress, but she won’t talk to you about her weight. While many women will obsess, talk and share the weight of her with the world, the slim, elegant and intelligent woman is hesitant to take her personal business to the streets. Also, she doesn’t focus on scale. She won’t find her sitting in some meeting having a weekly weigh-in. On the contrary! Instead of concentrating on the scale, she notices how her clothes fit, how she feels in her own body and how much joy she is producing, not a number on a piece of metal.
If your clothes are tight, you simply reassess your current lifestyle and choices and make the necessary adjustments to get back to your ideal weight.
No diet. No drama. Just tweaks and adjustments.
(By the way, on the Slim, Chic and Savvy program, we do something weekly, but it’s NOT a weigh-in. It’s much more powerful and definitely more pleasurable, and this tool alone has been accused of causing weight loss.)
When she is hungry, a slim, elegant and smart woman eats. She has programmed her body to expect meals at certain times, usually breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with an occasional snack in the afternoon. As a result, her body’s metabolism works like a machine, not storing, but releasing fat. She, too, is not afraid of slight hunger. In fact, she experiences it several times a day just before her meal, which, in her opinion, adds a special sauce of pleasure to her next dining experience. She won’t find her skipping meals because she’s trying to lose weight. If she decides not to eat at mealtime, it is because she is not hungry, not because she is wanting to lose weight.
She honors her body by listening to it and is slim as a result. Here is a great lesson to learn for any woman who wants to lose weight.
Just as she does not starve, the slim, elegant, and smart woman rarely overeats and hardly ever fills up. If she overeats from time to time (we’re all human), she immediately makes up for it by cutting back on her next meals.
She believes that life is best lived on the middle path, where you eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re elegantly satisfied. No diet. no drama Just tweaks and adjustments.
“I don’t have time to take care of myself.”
This is a lie, and the slender, elegant and smart woman knows it. You take the time to do what’s important to you, and if you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s because you don’t see yourself as a priority.
Every French woman I have met understands the importance of taking care of herself. She makes her a better mother, wife, lover, friend, and woman. From cooking to taking care of her skin, she understands that a quality life requires time and space to feed herself. She’ll say no in a skinny minute to something that doesn’t excite her if it means a little extra time to relax, breathe, and enjoy her own life.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you noticed what naturally thin people say or don’t say? share