The place of blue smoke
The Cherokee called this mystical land, “The Place of Blue Smoke” or Shaconage, (shah-con-ah-jey) in their language. I decided to go for exactly that, and took my family or 4 on vacation to The Smoky Mountains this year.
Tennessee is a centrally located state. No wonder Great Smokey Mountain State Park is the busiest state park in the US.
There are a few observations I’d like to make about Tennessee. The first thing I noticed was that gas was 20 cents cheaper than Indiana and 30 cents cheaper than Kentucky. It’s like the whole state is using a Kroger plus card.
In Indiana, residents are charged $5.00 to enter any state park. Non-residents pay $7.00. I was shocked that I accidentally drove into The Smokey Mountain National Park while driving. It’s free!
By the way, they have 1500 bears in the park. That’s 2 for every square mile. You can pay $3.50 to see bears at the town’s Christmas store or you can drive to the park for free. Today, works for free.
Speaking of free, the park has Junior Ranger tours and classes for kids, during travel season. This includes classes in blacksmithing; like the old west, and even a hike to a beautiful waterfall in bear country. Many of these classes or tours are free to the public.
When we got to Pigeon Forge TN, we saw Country Glitz, the likes of which I had never seen; and i lived in texas for 2 years growing up. You’ll see Hatfield’s and McCoys with Rhinestone Sparkleys, and they even have a Mind Reading Pig. We have 3 Farris Wheels on the parkway and 5 miniature golf courses (to die for).
On our first day, we went to Dollywood’s Splash Country. The park has some rare attractions. For starters, it has the only water roller coaster in the world.
As you enter the park, there is a sign stating that profanity and actions will not be tolerated, even on t-shirts. Most places nowadays, they want your money, a little too much. It’s refreshing to see a place that places the needs of a decent clientele above the almighty dollar. Dollywood also offers a 30% discount to military personnel and their dependents.
In fact, I was able to see a little more of the God fearing presence, in that whole area, than I usually see in other places. One example, we saw what appeared to be a huge adult sex shop; right next to which someone planted a huge white cross. They do not have cuams, about a good fight on them there are hills.
Both days of our visit it rained and there was a storm. This may have been a blessing, as I got burned pretty bad on the lazy river. My son was too short for a single 15 foot slide. So, he convinced me to go on a double raft ride; that it was a thousand foot spinning vortex of tubed terror; which of course he was allowed to ride, just with me.
He had convinced me to next ride a ride he referred to as the “Toilet Flusher” (real name unknown), another weird ride, where you apparently fall straight down at a speed of 300 miles per hour before being thrown out of a circular bowl. Thank goodness someone saw lightning a few miles away or I would have blushed.
Actually, for some reason, when it comes to water wrinkles, I’m not afraid. I once rode the Neste Dive on King’s Island; a trip that was deemed too dangerous, so it was removed. In fact, they have what appears to be a duplicate on Dollywood. The one on King’s Island actually threw you off the slide for a few seconds; which I can attest can lead to uncrossing your legs, resulting in a groin injury… Ouchhh!
Day 2, we went to the actual Dollywood park. We had a great time! The staff of the Tram; stated that if you have a flat tire, need a jump, or are locked out of your vehicle; Dollywood security will help you for free. Polite, country houses are plentiful here.
My son got to drive a silver T-Bird and squealed the tires. My daughter’s favorite ride was the Grand Gusher; a walk that no visitor should do without. You simply don’t visit the amusement parks in July or August without getting your crotch and socks wet. I sat next to 2 young people with my family. They proudly declared: “Better get The Gold Bond” (medicated itch cream).
We saw 2 shows to help beat the rain. The first was GAC (Great American Country). I really enjoyed the interpretation of the staff of His eyes are on the sparrow. This was followed by Kristy Lee Cook. She is as talented as she is charming. She came out after the show and let me take a picture of my wife and daughter with her. She had no idea that she was writing a travel review.
Speaking of classy girls; You can’t visit Dollywood without learning a little about Ms. Dolly Parton.
You get to see, a recreation of the church Dolly grew up in, as Country Baptist as it gets. There was a quote somewhere, very obvious, that Dolly attributes her success to the good Lord above. She also has the Gospel Music Hall of Fame in one of her museums.
Dolly’s fame can be attributed to her Opry-quality voice, and a figure who in her hayday, was as good as ever. However, her inner beauty is even more charming.
Dollywood has a section called “Her People” and they have a show called “Song of the Heart”, which featured her family. She values family and treats it decently. There’s even a replica of her family home that she grew up in.
The park is also scheduled for a $30 million renovation/update. There will be even more rides and shows (I guess that’s possible).
In conclusion, the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee is an area full of southern values. It’s brimming with country sparkle. There are many things to see and do, some in the National Park, or free gates; some not so free.