how to be a goddess

I will never forget the day I first heard Pablo Picasso’s famous quote about women. It was a particularly hard time for me. I had just (finally) ended things with a very bad guy and was dealing with all the “how could I have been so stupid?” thoughts. I told my best girl “N” what I had done and she immediately sent me the following text:

“Picasso said: ‘There are only two kinds of women: goddesses and doormats.’ You, my dear, are a goddess.”

A goddess? Me? Actually? Hmmmm. Despite my doubts about the veracity of “N’s” comment, it made me feel much better. And it also made me think… What makes a woman a “goddess”? What attributes and qualities does she have? What is it about her that makes her so attractive and desirable to men? And could I (or any woman) really achieve “goddess status”?

The “N” text not only made me smile, isn’t it wonderful to have encouraging girlfriends? – also provided the basis for many of the philosophies found in my writing. As I continued my journey through singlehood and started my blog, Picasso’s words became my mantra and my inspiration. She was tired of feeling manipulated and mistreated. I was TOO MUCH looking at men for approval. I was done with the chaos and confusion that often seemed to come with romantic relationships. So if you’re like me and ready to trade in your well-worn welcome mat for a crown and scepter, I hope you’ll keep reading. Here are the ten commandments of a “goddess”:

1. She is confident and self-assured. What is trust? From my point of view, confidence comes from knowing who you are and being comfortable in your own skin. It comes from believing in yourself and your abilities. It is NOT arrogance. No way. In fact, truly confident people are humble and kind. They don’t need to brag about themselves to get the approval and attention of others. They listen more than they talk and enjoy giving compliments more than receiving them. The way you dress, carry yourself and talk shows your level of confidence. No wonder guys are quick to pick up on this. When a man meets a confident woman, her value in her eyes increases instantly.

2. He is strong and independent. A goddess does not let life live her, but she lives her own life. She has goals, dreams and aspirations separate from her love life. In fact, she would never entertain the idea of ​​giving herself up just to be with a man. Catching him and holding him is not the end, but the whole existence of her and she will not “melt” into a guy, trying to be who and what she thinks he wants. It’s perfectly wonderful to want, and even need, a man. But to congratulate you, not to complete you.

3. She is emotionally stable. I recently read a fascinating article. She stated that most men have a deep need to be loved by an emotionally tough and dependent woman. When I think of a goddess, I think of a woman who is in control of her emotions. She doesn’t fall apart, break down or have fits if things don’t go her way. She doesn’t get ruined by little things and her world doesn’t revolve around endless drama. A goddess would never expect a man to act as her therapist. (Never!) After all, that’s what girlfriends are for, right?

4. He is optimistic. A goddess has a sense of humor. She can joke around, see the “good” in almost all circumstances, and enjoys life. She is not bitter and does not allow her resentment to get the best of her. She is funny and has the ability to laugh with others and with herself. A goddess is happy with her life and her place in the world. As a result, others are drawn to her and her energy is contagious.

5. Take care of your appearance. A goddess knows that when she looks good, she feels good. Her health and well-being are important to her. She is well groomed and dresses appropriately for the situation, without trying too hard to be noticed. As Coco Chanel said: “Dress poorly and they remember the dress. Dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” However, it is important not to go to extremes. A woman’s attractiveness is not determined by her daily caloric intake or by sporting a four-figure bag. Although her high heels and mascara are not foreign concepts to her, a true goddess knows that true beauty begins within her.

6. She will not chase a man. Can you imagine a goddess throwing herself at a man or working overtime to impress him? I sure can’t. But how often do women act like this? We will initiate all contacts. We will “accidentally” meet him. Hell, we’ll make him cupcakes and take them to his office after the first date. We could also jump up and down while holding a sign that says “Choose me!!” A goddess would not do this. Instead, she lets the men approach her and show her level of interest. She allows a man to chase, woo, woo; thus encouraging him to step up and be a man.

7. She does not accept disrespect. Limits are a good thing. There is nothing wrong with knowing how you want and deserve to be treated. A goddess does not allow a man to throw her leftovers at her and then try to convince her that it is an input from her. When treated unacceptably, she has the strength to fight back; even if it means walking away from her.

8. It’s not easy to get to her. A goddess knows her worth. She doesn’t emit the “I’m desperate for a man! Any man will do!” vibe. Instead, she takes care of her business. She walks proudly through her own life and takes a hard look at those men who reach out to her. She is the collector. She is the one who chooses. And she strives to choose wisely. As a result, the man who wins her heart also believes that he has won an amazing woman. To paraphrase the famous dating quote: PLAYING hard to get is ridiculous. BEING hard to get is wonderful.

9. She is feminine. It’s entirely possible to be a CEO, a professional athlete, or have an A cup and still be undeniably feminine. Femininity does not mean acting like a little girl, a wimp or an airhead. Not even close. You also don’t have to give up the jeans and baseball caps or the chance to hang out with the guys. Being feminine is about accepting yourself as a woman. It’s about being charming and elegant. It’s about radiating warmth and openness. The vast majority of men are instinctively drawn to “femininity.” At the end of the day, they want a woman who is a lady.

10. Value your sexuality. A goddess is not prudish or promiscuous. Although she enjoys sex and physical intimacy, she realizes that it is a valuable gift and does not allow it to be used or neglected. She won’t dress too provocatively or flaunt the “her sexual lines” of her on a date. She waits before consuming relationships and is trustworthy in matters of fidelity. The goddess sees sex as “special” and encourages her man to treat her as a “special” woman.

Obviously, the Picasso quote inspired me. It’s not just the motivation behind much of my writing, it has also encouraged me to think and act more like a “goddess” in my own life. And ladies, if I can do it and see results, you can too.