Change low self esteem for high self esteem

The first step to improve your self-esteem has to be internal. You must be determined to improve this situation and be willing to take the necessary steps to begin to improve this situation. You also need to accept the fact that self-esteem is something that CAN be raised intentionally.

There is no need for low self-esteem to continue to rule your life. You can take control of your thoughts and change the way you perceive yourself.

So what are some indicators of low self esteem? See if any of these thoughts continually run through your head.

1. “People don’t like me.”

2. “I can’t do anything right.”

3. “I’m ugly.”

4. “People don’t listen to me.”

5. “I always say stupid things”

6. “I always make the wrong decision.”

7. “My life is a mess and I can’t do anything about it.”

Remember, these are just thoughts. In many ways, life is going to GIVE you what YOU think you deserve. What you THINK your neighbor feels about you is irrelevant. What you believe about yourself is what is important.

If you want to change your low self-esteem to high self-esteem, you can’t just think about doing it. You have to act, and there’s no reason not to start right now. Start by believing that you CAN change all of these thoughts and feelings, and that making this change will change who you are and what life has in store for you.

Start with this understanding; everyone has those thoughts at some point or another. If you think that kind of thing in the future, you are not thinking about an ultimate truth. You are simply thinking a thought that is a reaction to some moment in time. Who you are is not determined by that thought.

Here is an example. Let’s say I buy a lottery ticket with five numbers. That night when they draw the winning numbers, the first four numbers are numbers I have. Then they draw the fifth number, but it’s not my number. Will I be disappointed? Of course I’ll do it. I missed! It’s okay, I didn’t LOSE; I just wasn’t the winner… in that giveaway. Does that make me a loser? Of course not. A mistake you made, or think you made, a slight you received from someone, or think you received, does not make you a loser either. Even if you’re right and you DID make a mistake or if someone DID snub you, that doesn’t mean everyone snubs you or that you’ll always make mistakes.

Just like the little scenario above, people will often get close to success and then miss the mark. In many cases, however, they fail, not because someone drew a different number than what they wanted, but because they threw the ticket away before the draw ended. Many people will throw away their ticket in the lottery of life even if they have four of the five necessary numbers. They simply cannot conceive that the fifth number is the one they need.

Well, life is NOT a lottery, although there is an element of luck to it. Like a game of poker, while everyone at the table is subject to the laws of chance, a better poker player tends to have more “luck” at the table. One of the skills a good poker player must have, as Kenny Rogers says, is “knowing when to hold, knowing when to fold. Knowing when to walk away. Knowing when to run.” A good poker player should also know that just because he won or lost the last hand. That has nothing to do with what will happen when the cards are shuffled and dealt again.

When we talk about trading low self-esteem for high self-esteem, we’re talking about learning when to let go, when to hold on, or when to walk or run. More importantly, we are talking about the skills necessary for the game of life, skills that can be learned and improved. We are also talking about realizing that each individual event in life is NOT a definition of who we are.

So many times I have talked to someone with low self esteem after something has happened to them that they have added it to their list of disappointments. I find two points about most of these events.

1. The person with low self-esteem can interpret a completely normal or even very positive event as a failure

2. They focus so completely on the event that they lose sight of who they really are and what they have to offer.

A person with low self-esteem will look for negative signals in an event, conversation, or activity. Since they expect the results to be negative, if they can’t see an actual negative, they will either make one up or interpret a positive as negative. As an example, think of someone who thinks I’m about to hit him. I can see that they are about to be hit by a bus and grab them to take them to safety. They can see my sudden movement as an attack because they are already thinking that this is what they should expect from me. They may shake and get hit by the bus because they were already predisposed to interpret what I did in a certain way.

One of the most common experiences I have with people who have low self esteem is that they just look at the negative experience and use it to judge themselves completely. Often, I’ve started reciting a litany of good things about them or worthwhile things they’ve done, only for them to perk up, look at me, and say, “That’s right! I did that, didn’t I? Don’t think about it.”

Low self-esteem will originate from the interpretation of some events as the definition of who and what you are.

To change from low self-esteem to high self-esteem, you must:

1. Realize that self-esteem, high or low, is a judgment you have made about yourself.

2. Low self-esteem is based on judgments that are usually made on the fly in a negative moment.

3. Self-esteem CAN be changed, and you are the only one who can change it.

You decide to make the change. Write down all the negative things that are true about you. Don’t write down the negative things you THINK about yourself. Write what is true. Don’t say, “People don’t like me.” That is what you think. He writes: “I insult people when I see them.” That is a fact.

Then write down the positive facts about yourself. “I like people, but they don’t like me.” It’s Wrong. “I like people” is a fact, and that’s what you should look at.

When you finish your list, you’ll probably find more positives than negatives, unless you’re an ax murderer or something. This tells you that you are a good person and deserve the good things in life. Take a look at the negative facts and decide how you can change them. Take a look at the positive elements and decide how you can use them to improve your life.

You can change low self-esteem for high self-esteem. Stop worrying about how others perceive you. Live your good qualities and revel in the good and wonderful person that you are. Enjoy the pleasure you give to others and your self-esteem will skyrocket.

You’re a great person.