The scariest sports franchises
Happy Halloween! If your franchise is on this list, then you know all about running rampant mutant fear. You’ve seen the scariest franchises in professional football, baseball, or basketball. Long seasons watching appalling performances from players so bad they give you goosebumps. The Front Office decisions are so scary that Hollywood is afraid to make a movie about it.
Our survey is based on a formula of what you have done for us lately. Super Bowls or great players on a team 40 years ago don’t carry much weight. We prefer things like recent success. Infamous players and owners. I support the fans. And the city in which the team is located. There may be other creepy things we come up with as we go along.
Introducing, in all their brutality, the Scariest Franchises in Sports.
8) The Pittsburgh Pirates
Why are they so scary? Since losing a heartthrob to the Braves in the bottom of the ninth in Game 7 of the 1992 NLCS, the Pirates have yet to have a winning season. 500, but it was apparently all designed to further torture the fanbase. The team’s owners have turned losses into a profitable venture, earning nearly $30 million a year while dumping All-Stars in an effort not to pay them. How creepy.
7) Detroit Lions
The mere fact that they’re playing in Detroit is pretty scary, right? I’ve never been there, but I’ve talked to a few people who have (those who made it out alive) and they weren’t very nice to the Motor City. This franchise was so bad that it sidelined the greatest running back of all time, Barry Sanders, until his early retirement. They also have the current baddest player in the NFL, Ndamukong Suh, who has been fined for illegal hits multiple times and for the most part has refused to apologize, instead receiving fines from the National Football League.
Finally, the Lions are scary because they have only won one playoff game since 1957.
6) The Oakland Raiders
Even the Pirate in the helmet is scary in very few these days. This once proud franchise was eaten up by the same man who made them great, the late Al Davis. Entering this season, the Raiders were riding a 37-91 run and have been known for grim draft busts (JaMarcus Russell). Raider Nation, those guys who dress up like every day is Halloween, have given up on this franchise. The Raiders finished last in the NFL in attendance in 2010. The Raiders also get poor marks for the city of Oakland. It’s not a good sign when the fan base is more macabre than the team.
5) Los Angeles Clippers
It’s nerve-wracking when the other team in your hometown, playing the same sport, is so much better than you. The Lakers outperform the Clippers in almost every facet. You don’t have to look far to see why the Clippers are so terrible. Look at the draft. They used a No. 1 overall pick on Michael Olowakandi, a No. 2 pick on Danny Ferry, a No. 3 pick on Darius Miles and a No. 4 pick on Shaun Livingston. It’s impossible to miss so many #1 overall picks! He leads to missing the playoffs in 13 of 35 years.
4) The Rams of St. Louis
There are weeks I just forget they’re still in the NFL. The Rams have slowly degraded, step by step, from those glory days of the “Great Show On Turf” to the point where they really don’t have anything to hang their hats on anymore. They are just boring to watch and the worst part is that they have one of the most horrible stadiums in the NFL. Fans seem asleep most of the time because the Rams only have one star power player and that’s Sam Bradford, and he still has a lot to prove.
3) The Kansas City Royals
They have a very nice stadium, but it just masks the underlying horror. The Royals have been flying under the radar as the epitome of the small-market team. Why else have they not been able to get away with not making the playoffs since 1985!! It’s because nobody cares. But it gets weirder for this franchise. Kansas City has finished as high as second in the division standings only twice since 1985. Although several perennial All-Stars began their careers in Kansas City: David Cone, Kevin Appier, Johnny Damon, Carlos Beltran and Jermaine Dye , to name a few. Few: The Royals constantly traded their best players to avoid paying them during their prime years.
2) The Toronto Raptors
The team’s nickname is one of the coolest and scariest in all of sports. That’s where this franchise ends. Almost every good player they’ve ever had wants out (Vince Carter, Chris Bosh). How about some Raptor jokes?
Q: What do the Toronto Raptors and the Opossums have in common? A: They both play dead at home and die on the way!
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the NBA Finals? A: The Toronto Raptors.
1) The Charlotte Bobcats
The Bobcats have been bad every year of their brief but unpleasant existence, but they outdid themselves in 2011-12. The Bobcats weren’t just bad, they were historically horrible. With 23 straight losses to end the lockout-shortened season, the Bobcats finished with a 7–59 record, the worst winning percentage (.106) by an NBA team. Hard to believe that Michael Jordan, the owner of the team, is in any way associated with this nonsense. Last year’s Bobcats were everything Jordan wasn’t as a player: unproductive, uncompetitive and unwatchable.
Dishonorable mentions. The Milwaukee Bucks. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Houston Astros, Buffalo Bills, Sacramento Kings, Cleveland Browns, and New York Mets.